Drill Sergeant Pt 1

I had an imitation date with a girl once. I call it 'imitation' because I was super keen on her, but I am not convinced the feeling was mutual.

The way to determine my scale of ‘keenness’ is to observe what lengths I will go to get asked out, and furthermore, what limits of torture I will suck up before I crack, once out.

Special note 3: No names or actual venues will ever be disclosed, in order to protect the identities of the places and people I may unknowingly discredit.

For the purpose of this post, let’s call my date ‘Drill Sergeant’.

I tried everything known to lesbiankind to attract her. You know things like doing the lesbian mating sound when she was in earshot, billboard advertising with my name and number in subliminal text, syringing love potion into her lemonade when her head was turned, that kind of thing.

Drill Sergeant was renovating her home around about the time that we met via mutual friends on Pink Sofa.  being such a great listener and observer, it didn’t take long for me to cotton on to the fact she needed help with some of her weekend reno jobs. Finally she asked me over for dinner, on the proviso that I would help her with the ‘paving under the patio’.

My mind immediately conjured images of our sweaty bodies unable to resist each other after a few moments in the sun laying bricks (or each other).

To Be Continued...