Hot Stuff Day One

Way way way back when Pink Sofa was shiny and new, I met an interesting woman through one of my Sofa connections. Every year this woman would go to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival in the USA and every year she would try to convince one of her friendship circle to go with her and every year all of her friends would decline the invitation. That was until she met me.

I had heard rumours of this festival. That it was brimming with naked, non-monogamist, crunchy-granola eating, Birkenstock-wearing, herbivorous LESBIANS. I heard that around 5,000 women descended upon 650 acres of forest and some lived there for up to 6 weeks in tents! I thought that such bliss only existed in my imaginings.

I also heard magical things happened on the land. That there was a romantic force no one could resist. It was common for women to meet, fall in love and move states, countries and sometimes planets, only to return the next year to ‘repeat cycle’ [insert new love here]. How does one plan for such enchantment? Back then moving countries for ‘the one’ sounded delightful, so I arranged my references and testimonials meticulously in preparation for an anticipated rendezvous.

I wish I could have documented my wide-eyed enthusiasm from day one. Naked women really were successively running around exchanging sensual glances at each other and provoking a frenzy of undeniable longing. And I was not immune to the intoxication of this particularly foreign surrounding. Besieged with choices, I decided to channel my urges into other physical activities like ‘work’. We were rostered to do 6 x 8 hour shifts every week, so I doubled that to ensure no free time for dalliances. I absolutely did not know where to put all of my sexual energy but slicing tofu, liquidising garlic and baking pie seemed appropriate. We fed 400 women with enormous sexual appetites. Some women ate, some women worked, but 99% of them f----d.

To Be Continued..